My Life

Julius Edward Lupowitz. Most call me Jules

Who and WHAT is Jules Lupowitz? ... sometimes in 3^rd person… 

The Beginning

I was born 9-20-61 in Long Beach, New York to Barbara & Alvin Lupowitz.  Early on like a man-child I knew they could barely support my non-physical needs. I supported myself at a very young age, keeping busy with inquiries to most issues. By nine I was making deals or working for pay at any opportunity. Helen my big sis by 3 years grew to be jealous & abused me. I detested my parent’s lack of care for Helen & lost respect for them but my love always remained unconditional… More on Mom and Dad later. For now, Helen's relation with me or lack thereof is telling and helpful to those with interest.   Helen is loved by me but she can't deal with real closeness with this lil bro. It'd require not addressing family facts which I can't leave untouched. Seems a large percent of family includes leaving past issues unresolved which I am poor at. Baby brother Brian was never able to survive well on his own. He was youngest by 9 years to Helen. In time I'll go into Brian's issues but the fact is that he was, "OK" when I was single with more time to guide him.

As family life with Luz and two kids sapped much of my time, Brian lost what little controls I've supported for managing himself. To summarize for now, he became homeless, bounced around, located various shelters using SSI for money or "help" (in the form of wasted moneys) from Mom and Helen.  I always explained why money was the last and likely the worst thing to help Brian. His issues you'd read as I find time to detail this, were exasperated by handling any money. To hint you out of the dark the first item he was in need of was medication. The second item was professional, psychological counseling. Because of sis Helen's controlling, irrational ways, her unstoppable jealousy and Mommy Barbara's lack of ability I was not able to love Brian but wish I could. With a lack of time plus Helen's road blocks to my facts on how to guide him, to somehow, "take over" his life would mean investing most of my time. Currently this may appear like blaming what happened to Brian on my sister. While I forgive whatever made sis keep my knowledge from saving him, he'd passed away. It required my pressure onto Helen to reveal to me, "he was on heroin"...  

That would've been addressed by me correctly if she informed me of that fact. She continued, along with Mom who knew little or nothing about truths or facts on heroin addiction providing money to "help" him, knowing of this fact. Because brother Jules was the guy that would've "got him institutionalized", this was interpreted as, "jail" or behind bars or "punished". That was never the case, however. Brian was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his teens and early 20's, by Jules' control, Jules' direction, management, etc when Jules was single. As Jules' care subsided Brian fell, more with time until Helen "took over". Knowing Helen's nature, it's more than probable that she allowed our psychotic lil brother to continue on heroine, a lethal, highly addictive substance with no communication to me or anyone that mattered.

You might believe its wrong or that I wish to say bad things about my own sister but that's untrue. I'm just blunt, not usually politically concerned with her and truthful displaying what I know. I love my big sis but she essentially killed our little brother, mostly by preventing my skills through love and knowledge to take over where she failed. Why? As I stated above, Helen cannot the closeness to Jules. To be my sis she'd get intimate truths from me; she can't handle that..... I’m always open to critique but I may be complex to pin down. No doubt I’m hyperactive, thanks to Mom & have seemingly high resilience to pain, Dad’s attribute. It's ironic that I love closeness and am a highly intimate person, both emotionally and at appropriate times, physically with those I really like.  Yet aside from a few hugs & kisses, I saw little if any love amongst Mom and Dad. They showed love to me but dynamics of our family displayed little affection elsewhere, especially towards Helen. that is why I can forgive her. She just can't deal with it, get it?  Little Julie witnessed & enjoyed much love from non-immediate family & especially the homes of my friends. Those who know me will attest to my great desire to adore any loving family.  Being able to give love became a great privilege, to this day, with misunderstandings of my two famous impulsive actions even more so.

That's a BIG understatement!  The fact is that Mr. Julius Edward Lupowitz (Jules) "ADORES" honest, nice people so much that it can be intimidating! I want to help, support and care for those who may benefit if they'd allow but I guess most people feel uncomfortable opening up. If there's such thing as a demon, mine is how oblivious I am to this and so many things. The fact that I'm jovial to say the least, silly and sharply sarcastic is more accurate, mixed with this oblivion gets me misunderstood by most average folks. I admit highly intellectual persons see through this kibitzing; they see I'm genuine but usually these types may need no help; especially if I ain't as sharp as they are.

 

Learning

I loved competing & contact sports so by about 6 played tackle-full uniformed football at the Long Beach Recreational Center & tried Karate but loved boxing more.  I can’t recall any boxing gyms there but I was extremely active biking, swimming & at the beach a lot. Other interests were boating, automobiles & engines of all kind, mini bikes & go carts, dismantling almost everything mechanical to see how it worked. Plus art; mostly drawing took up time.  Where we’d lived then, 58 E. Walnut St, Long Beach, NY was near heavily Jewish community; seemingly Hassidic. My choice of friends were usually the non-Jewish groups because the Jew-boys were not outside playing tough, seemingly inside busy studying or something. Jews were OK & real nice folks but those ones were boring to this street kid…  

Leaving Home

Our 1^st home owned was at the beginning of the West end of Long Beach, a mostly Irish & Italian zone. In general black people weren’t seen there at that prejudice time.  That name Lupowitz wasn’t too popular either but I stood my ground unlike most East End Long Beach Jewish kids. This home at 3 September Walk was a converted bungalow Dad couldn’t afford to pay for.  Seeing too much negative issues between Mom & Dad, being treated terribly by my sis, not being able to advise or help my brother I just left home. 

Leaving home at 14 years old was a great choice, learning much more on my own. Acting out got me into the Westbury Children’s Shelter. As a smaller, younger boy that had little social privileges as compared to bigger, stronger juveniles who behaved in much worse ways than me to get put there. With no interest in the other smaller kids I tried to hang with the big boys. Not being good at basketball aided reverse discrimination more than a name like Lupowitz. These guys thought I was some spoiled kid that may’ve skipped school once.  I had to fight for respect. Fight I did; not very well admittedly. One evening in the multi-sink bathroom an over 6 feet  kid calling himself Kareem (as in Abdul Jabbar) was next on line behind me to wash & brush teeth. He nudged me with force into the metal faucet as I was leaning into the sink to rinse my mouth knocking some teeth loose. Tasting blood & knowing who was behind me I kept calm but knew letting him get away with that will cost me more than a few teeth. I finished rinsing, blood & all, balled up my right fist & from a position starting with lifting my head from the sink, I spun tightly to my left with all my strength trying but failing (I assume) to meet his face with my right fist. My face (I assume) met his bigger fist instead; I was out cold.  The streets of Long Beach West end may’ve been challenging at times but compared to proven delinquents that was pea wee league.

Big Decisions

I developed a great desire to speak with a counselor. Finally getting some guidance I sucked up to this like a mutt to his Alpo.  I recall no boys liking this requirement except myself; I loved this like a privilege.  Average stay at the shelter was 2 weeks; they kept me for 2 over months because, according to the counselor I was different & shouldn’t be, “put away” in a place like Warwick, or Elmira, places for juvenile delinquents. I cannot ever forget understanding fully Judge Freedenberg’s question, at  my discharge: With Mom, beckoning for me to get back home, Dad sitting with her probably knowing Barbie had no capacity to control this kid, the Judge asked me, “Now Julius, after [this & that] against you, and you doing [this and that] as a juvenile, I have the option of giving you another chance… to go back home, live with your mother … your father cannot or will not be able to take this responsibility …. But what if I gave you this choice; to go home with your Mom or to be institutionalized? If I allowed you to decide on your destination where you would go?”  …  I turned around & saw my 2 parents; Mom groveling for me to get back home & Dad physically supporting her but in a different frame of mind ... I looked at them for a while before I turned back to this Judge… “Put me away you’re Honor. Institutionalize me. I think you should send me away”, I said this shivering with fear, not sure if that was the right answer… For this 14 year old kid it was.   My Aunt Linda Graff, having more resources than Mom or Dad agreed to locate some, “residence with a school”, other than a pure straight juvenile penitentiary for little Julie.   

Life in a System

Hawthorne Cedar Knowles School– a Union-Free School District was a mixture of unique boys & girls. Some very talented at sports were tough guys that got in trouble. Those mainly were wild & dangerous, many blue-blood delinquents, some that identified with me were confident street survivors with no bad intentions. But most were just confused kids from parents that obviously couldn’t teach, bring up or control them. A tiny school, cafeteria, cottages were filled in on a boys or girls side of campus, a well-stocked gymnasium, infirmary & security office were in old but fairly maintained buildings. Serious cleaning & maintenance were part of chores to gain & maintain your status or freedoms. You can leave any time but without permission this was AWOL. Certain counselors were cool allowing better kids more freedom like sneaking to the girl’s side if we get back by certain times… Other counselors were dictators & some were abusive. Rules were not unfair to me but I became defensive to mistreatments. I analyzed their system naturally without realizing why I needed to understand how it functioned… Once I was kicked in the balls hard by a lead counselor who we all hated. I was on the phone with my Dad too long he said.  I then snuck out, limped across campus without permission, ducked security patrol & knocked on the door of the home of Donald Cox, HCKS Director, who was like a Warden. His home was far, passed the girls side, through forest trails I learned over time. He invited me in impressed that any kid had confidence to get to his home or even knew that it existed. Within a short time we both learned how righteous & clearheaded I was. The ball-kicker was fired so I got recognized amongst administration & more popular with kids. I was never informed of standing out but squeezed facts out of counselors, school principle & a very special psychologist I befriended named Mike Groper.  Packed with fair & unfair regulations this fit what I needed, taught me how to defend myself both physically & politically, forced fed right VS wrong which straightened me out.

 Growing Up

The summer before 11^th grade, I exercised religiously & cleaned up my act becoming aware that a lack of education + career was one of Dad’s (& Mom’s) greatest mistakes… HCKS was only a 300 student school of misfits, i.e. not a known public or good private school by any means. But we did have a football team. Liking football I thought a university with football scholarships might recognize Jules & not pay attention to what school this was… Exactly 11 of us, I was smallest & maybe least skilled of some giant, fast, highly talented NYC kids. Being a white boy & under 160 LBS I was teased & beat on but they needed me to make 11 players. I was an offensive halfback or defensive linebacker. But in scrimmages with (much bigger) public high schools we rarely dealt defensively. How this institution got allowed into a public league I’ll never understand.  We played 1 game. We got kicked off that league in Westchester, NY after we annihilated a popular, big, New Rochelle school with its giant football team & broadcast on the radio. Football scholarship = a dead issue.

Learning the Ropes

I was released to Stuyvesant; a boy’s group home on Saint Marks Place in Greenwich Village, NYC. My Uncle Joe, who invented the dimmer switch, got me a job at his buddy’s dimmer switch factory. I worked for minimum wage in Foxmar, that factory on Prince Street with people who spoke no English. Hanging out in places like Central Park, Washington Square Park, SOHO, checking out stuff like CBGB’s, with my bike & skateboard, NYC & the Village was awesome. But then the Village was not as active or ultra-high-priced as is today. Friends lived in lofts with sheets for walls & roofs that viewed the Manhattan skyline; lofts which today are work millions to own. Shortly I was placed into a, “better” group home called, “Rego Park”. Still loving work & earnings I worked in a furniture store near Lefrak City in Rego Park, plus Cookies Steak Pub in Queens Mall, Queens. I delivered & assembled cheap furniture in Lefrak while dodging muggers, hearing & seeing shootings on Junction Blvd of Queens & learned about sex & alcohol with older waitresses from Cookies. Weekdays I took the subway to Grand Central Station then the Harlem Line, an old, rickety diesel train to upstate New York. I learned a lot since I left home. Filled with travel, school, training for sport, art, work & bucks to spend I had little fun time. Mostly I’d bike ride to & thru Flushing Meadow Park, hard & fast with a buddy. Later on I’d get a real, fast, lightweight touring bike called a Windsor Super Carrera I still own & ride today. I rode that bike hundreds of miles & win a few races.

By graduation at HCKS I received a High School Diploma from John Bowne High School in Flushing, Queens, New York. John Bowne was a great NYC high school that some famous people graduated. I proudly still display this diploma since I never actually went there. Inspecting & analyzing I learned that HCKS, owned by JBG & funded by JCCA had connections; maybe to propel this kid who picked his grades up from nothing to straight A’s in 12^th grade.  

Opportunity Knocks

High grades, creative metal & wood shop skills + several artistic sculptures did win me a 4 year scholarship to the School of Visual Arts in NYC. I should’ve taken that deal & gone to that college but being from a poor family, at that time I was scared to pursue art as a career. My second love was automotive design. SUNY at Farmingdale admitted Jules Lupowitz into Automotive Engineering Technology with BEOG, SEOG financial aid & GSL. Since legally I had no parents, worked full time as a waiter & made low enough income (without tips) I got maximum aid in the Democratic Carter years. Republican Reagan cut the aid so I worked more hours & increased the GSL. I had no issue with paying back loans & still have high respect for grants & loans given to motivated students. Unfortunately most students don’t understand details of why our government invests in American students. XXX go into aided students filling dorms emptying in weeks… 

Money as a Motivator

1979 to 1981 included President Carter go to Reagan, severe Inflation of over 10% & the Gas Crisis with long lines at gas pumps amongst other issues creating that economic Recession. At that time it was said, “America got caught with their pants down”. This was of the automotive industry mainly since we only made big gas guzzlers while Toyota, Datsun- now called Nissan & the Volkswagen Beatle outsold big American autos. So my dream of going on to Detroit to be an engineer with GM, Ford & especially Chrysler at that time also died. Learning Japanese & moving to Japan seemed too farfetched. But by then I’d founded Farm-Pro Industries Incorporated which made a poor, 19 year old kid like a spoiled brat with big toys; new sports car, new motorcycle, new cabined boat, some hot girlfriends, cash to burn & save…  I developed a highly jovial attitude, laughing off most peoples hardships as their own choice, including my own.  Sure I’m hurt, emotionally as a kid and; Bla, Bla, Bla, it was fucking funny in any case. It still is! Go into farming, recession, success of biting off Monsanto, etc giants which lead to smaller Rhino, etc in late 1990’s in parallel ways…

Armed now with easily earned Academic Scholarships & plenty of bucks, I (also easily) found accountants who made me look like that low-income waiter. That paradox of getting thousands of dollars off my school bills just for doing homework to get A’s + the “totally legal, legit, ethical” sub-chapter-S game just added to my already radical beliefs from earlier success in leaving my bullshit family & obtaining a bullshit HS degree from a high school classified as an, “Institution for the Emotionally Retarded”…  With an ability to be poor tax-wise by just paying the right accountant, maximum financial aid was granted with scholarships via Hofstra University which I was proud to manipulate. Seeing through all this bullshit was a piece of cake for this 19-20 year old business man. These various educations were what made Jules become the person who he is now. Because most credits from an engineering AAS didn’t transfer to Hofstra this meant starting as a freshman again. I made friends with professors & smarter students because I was in partially in night school, highly self sufficient & much more mature than most students. As a business owner earning more than his professors + full time student I missed the opportunity to play College football.  Parking near the stadium (Jets also practice at Hofstra), observing popular, good-looking players made me wish I can add football to my schedule. I was smaller than most players but with my crazy MF back ground I was sure to out run, bang though, chew up & spit out any yuppies in my way. I never tried out. Money was more important.

After graduating 6 years with an AAS in Automotive Engineering Technology & BA at Hofstra University in BCIS (Business Computer Information Systems) I was already in my own related business making great bucks. Paying back my GSL was easy & a fair deal.

Some of Jules Edward Lupowitz’s sayings:

1-       You cannot succeed without at least some failure.

2-       No pleasure is never earned.

3-       You might learn to appreciate what little you have when what little you have… is threatened.

4-       If you wish to quit smoking just don’t pick up a cigarette; if you don’t really care then enjoy it.

5-       Love & family are beautiful gifts; reproduction is a great thing but “marriage” is outdated – contracts to love are retarded.